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Lets first talk about the elephants in the room. Sharon Greens Blendings books, of which Convergence is the first, are about as eptly written as the average internet slash fan fiction. She has five main characters—one representing each of the four elements of the natural world, and a spirit element thrown in as a wild card—all of whom are hot and beautiful and in their mid-twenties and yet about as emotionally mature as a slow twelve year old. Greens Blending books follow the same pattern throughout, so that each character encounters from his or her perspective exactly the same obstacles as his comrades. The fire protagonist will have an argument with her parents, for example. Then the water protagonist will do the same in the next chapter, followed in the following three installments by spirit, air, and earth. Then the earth protagonist will face a trial. So will the fire protagonist. Next, the spirit protagonist will have her trial. So will water and earth.The fire lady will take a bath. Then in the next chapter, the earth fellow will take a bath. Then the spirit lady will take a bath. Then the air and water dudes take a bath. Next up—five chapters in which they all have a cup of tea and ruminate about the trials, the arguments, and the baths.Green uses this unremitting template for five books. FIVE BOOKS, PEOPLE. Plus three sequels after that! Thats a lot of repeated conversations and situations.Her characters have absolutely no subtleties whatsoever. Her protagonists are either extremely noble and good and perfect, save for one flaw that shell hammer at again and again. Her villains are ridiculously, sublimely, mustache-twiddlingly evil that her protagonists have no qualms whatsoever about assaulting these lowlifes with insults and attacks upon the slightest acquaintance (and then wondering later on why theyre so friendless). The sex scenes are so awkward and unerotic that one has to wonder if the author has ever indeed had sex, read about sex elsewhere, or has actually known anyone whos engaged in it. Finally—and perhaps most damningly—the author has a tendency, when inspiration flags, to have her protagonists drink tea. Theres a lot of tea flowing in this book, and apparently the magical capabilities of her protagonists are matched only by the vast retention and capacity of their bladders.And yet. . . .The repetitiveness and goofy artificiality of the Convergence series has won it a place of affection in my heart; its one of my favorite fantasy series to re-reread. Though its very much the worst kind of excess given an unchecked hand, theres a lush sumptuousness to it thats difficult to ignore. Greens sadism has a zest thats great fun to watch develop over the course of the series. And her obvious enjoyment of her glacial plotting (by the end of the first volume, a mere three days and several hundred pots of tea have passed) reveals depths of self-indulgence so remarkably bottomless that its like a literary first visit to the Grand Canyon. All one can do is gawp, and marvel at the sheer majesty.Are the books of The Blending exquisite writing? Good lord, no. Are they fun? Amazingly so, when approached by readers who can relish the unintentional camp comedy of their overwrought drama. Ive reread these books a half-dozen times, and theyll always have a fond spot in my heart.

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